10 years a Mother

10.

Double Digits.

A Decade.

10 years being a Mother.

10 years of my heart beating outside my chest.

10 years of experiencing a different kind of love....the love for your child.
10 years of a love like this...that can bring you to tears:

One of my all time favorite photos, taken seconds after Kate was born. After 2 miscarriages & years of wanting a baby, there are no words to describe how I felt when she was born. I will never, ever forget this moment & so thankful for the nurse who took this photo. It feels like just yesterday, I can't believe it has been a decade.

Because I am emotional about Kate turning 10, I thought I would lighten up the mood and share some things I have learned.

Ten Things I have learned in 10 years of being a Mother:
 
1. Your heart will live outside of your body for the rest of your kids lives.
I remember the hours & days after Kate was born and I had this "feeling"
It wasn't stress or anxiety, but it kind of was.
Kevin & I were now responsible for someone besides ourselves.
The nurse would come in and would ask how long did she feed on each side for, how many wet & poopy diapers did she have, etc.
I remember thinking "I will be taking this baby home in a few days & we will be in charge of her for the next 18 years"
The nurse told me "Your heart will live outside your body now that your are a mother....you will always have that feeling of worry & responsiblity"
Once you become a parent, you are now responsible for someone else's life.
It is a huge responsibility but a huge privilege....one that I don't take for granted.

2. The Days are long, but the years are short.
I know this is an old saying, but it is SOOOOO true.
I used to hear this and roll my eyes.
Now I get it. 
I can't believe I have been a mom for a decade.
I can't believe that the majority of our time with Kate living in our house is more than half over. It has gone by SO fast.
Her newborn & toddler years seem like a blur. 
Claire was born 19 months after Kate.
I barely remember Claire's 1st year of life.
2 kids in diapers, 2 kids in cribs......it was all about survival.
Which leads me to my 3rd point....

3. The infant/toddler years are SO HARD. It will get better. You will sleep again.
I barely remember those years.
There was a lot of coffee & a lot of wine. LOL.
I LOVE sleep. I wondered if I would ever get to sleep again.
I wondered if I would ever be able to shower more than 5 minutes.
I remember wondering if I would ever have time to go on a date with my husband or have a girls night out or go on an actual vacation that doesn't feel like a "trip"
 Let me tell you....YES. Yes, you will. Those early years are SO FREAKING HARD.
But now? Now that are kids are 10, 8 & 4....these are the fun years.
They are little people with awesome personalities.
There are no diapers, no nap schedules, no cribs & no diaper bags.
We can all go out to dinner & it's fun and not stressful.
We can do family movies nights & family game nights.
They are fun to be around. They like to do what we like to do.
We decided to teach all of them how to ski this year and it's just so much FUN.
They all still believe in Santa, the Tooth Fairy & the Easter Bunny.
This is such a fun stage in life and I just really, really love it.
I haven't parented teenagers yet (but I teach them) so I know it can be stressful, so I am just really enjoying the stage we are in right now....and they let us sleep in! Praise the Lord. Seriously. I love sleep :)
These are the Golden Years of childhood....it is so much easier than the early years.


4. You will learn more about Poop than you ever wanted to know.
Before I had kids, poop was just something you did everyday or every couple days. It was a private affair. With kids, poop takes on a life of it's own.
When your kids are babies, you have to pay attention to how many times a day your baby poops.
You need to pay attention to the color & consistency of the poop.
Are they pooping enough?
Is it the right color?
If your baby doesn't poop for a week, you will call the doctor and they will tell you will have to give them a suppository.
After you give them the suppository,  your baby will have a diaper blow out which is so massive that you will have to cut off their onesie and throw it away.
You might have an experience like I had & you go to get your baby from their nap only to discover your baby has taken off their dirty diaper and smeared poop ALL OVER THE CRIB and eaten some of it.
Then you have to potty train them to poop on the toilet.
They might be scared of that. Not naming any names, I had a kid like that.
This child would not poop on the toilet, so would only poop 1x a week.
This is not good.
You will have to give this child miralax, laxatives, etc.
When the child finally had to go poop after a week, the poop would be so large that they couldn't get it out and it would be stuck, so I had to grab the poop and pull it out.
Yes, I have learned a lot about poop in the past 10 years and it doesn't gross me out.
But, funny enough, dog poop totally grosses me out & it's Kevin's job to pick up all the dog poop in the yard.

5. Nature vs. Nurture
This is a funny thing. I always thought nurture played a bigger role  than nature, but honeslty, I'm not so sure.
I have 3 kids who have the same parents and these 3 kids are so incredibly different from each other.
It is shocking to me how different their personalites are.
Before I had kids, I just ASSumed my kids would have similar personalities & like the same things.
All 3 are unique & different.
Even though they have the same parents & are raised in the same family, they require different things from us and have different needs.
Maybe nature has a bigger impact that I thought.
We definitely have to parent each kid differently based on their love languages & their needs.

6. If (and when) your child barfs in the car....The carseat will never be the same....Your car will never ever smell the same.
We have had the good fortune (insert eye roll) of this happen more times that I would like.
Anything more than zero times is more than I would like....
If your kid barfs in their car seat & it gets all over the car seat straps & in all the crevices of the car seat, just burn the car seat or throw it away.
Seriously.
That smell never really goes away.
You are better off buying a new car seat.
Trust me on this one. I still get wifs of it & it has been years.
*Shudder*

7.   Never say never.
Before I was a Mom, I had a whole list of things I said I would NEVER do when I had kids.
What a joke. What did I know? 
 Chances are, you'll end up doing it.
A few years ago, I wrote one of my favorite posts....it was called:
"I was the best mom ever. Then I had kids"
I talk about the top 10 things I said I would never do when I had kids.
10 years of being a mom? Yep, I have done every single one of those things I said I would never do.


8. I hate the park.
There. I said it.
I've been a mom for 10 years and I can't stand going to the park.
I hate it. 
I have 3 kids, who want to go in 3 different directions at the park.
I just can't deal.
Sorry. Not Sorry.
The park is not my thing.
I realized this after Luke was born.
Years and years of going to the park.
Ugh. I don't like it.
I don't even remember the last time I took them to the park.
We play outside in the backyard, front yard & go on bike rides.
But take them to the park? NOPE. Not doing that anymore.
Sorry kids.
 One of my favorite things about getting the trampoline a year ago is that I don't have the mom guilt about not taking them to the park any more.


9.  Don't judge other moms.
 Try not to judge other moms who may do things differently than you.
Each kid is different, even my 3 are SO different from one another.

Who I am to judge how you parent your kids? 

What good does that do?

I don't live with your child, I haven't walked a day in your shoes, I don't know your struggles or your child's struggles, who am I to judge? 

Working mom vs. Stay at home mom
Breastfed vs. formula fed
Organic food vs. not organic food
 Pinterest mom vs. Non Pinterest Mom
Designer clothes vs. Clearance Rack
Home School vs Private School vs Public School
Vaccinated vs. Non Vaccinated
Just say no to the Mommy Wars.
Can't we all just get along?

You do what's best for you & your family.

Only you know the answer to that.

10. Give yourself grace.
This is hardest job you have ever done.
You will worry about every decision you make.
You will question yourself.
You will yell at your kids.
You will make mistakes.
You are not Mom of the Year.
There is no such thing.
You are doing a good job even if you don't feel like you are.
You can't do it all, so stop trying.

Motherhood....It's all about survival.

And, being the best mom we can be to our kids.
And you?
If you are doing YOUR best, then you are the Best Mom Ever for your kids. 

You are the Worlds Best Mom TO Your kids.

Why? Because you are YOU and no one loves them like you do. 

Period.

Since becoming a mother, I've realized I'm not the best mom EVER, but I'm the best mom I can be for *my* kids.

What have you learned about motherhood?

I know I have learned many more things than just these 10, but these are the ones that are sticking out to me today as I reflect on a decade of motherhood.

 It has been one of the hardest decades of my life.
This has been one of the best decades of my life.
It is a gift I will never take for granted.

 There are not enough words to describe how thankful I am the gift of being a Mother for the past Decade.
I am so thankful that God gave us our Katelyn Grace....He knew she was the perfect first born for our family.
 These past 10 years have been an absolute joy being her mom.
She is easy going, kind, sweet, smart & mature beyond her years. To know her is to love her.
I want to be more like Kate when I grow up.
It is an honor & privilege to be her mom, one that I don't take for granted.
We prayed for her for years & she was truly worth the wait.
Happy 10th birthday, Kate.
You are so loved.
Thanks for showing me grace as I learned to navigate being a mom.
Here's to the next decade!

10 on 10 :: May 2015

Today's 10 on 10 is my Mother's Day Edition! 

10 pictures on the 10th day of the month!

{Document a snapshot of your life & find beauty among the ordinary things in your day!}

 

Usually on Mother's Day, we spend it with both of our moms, but this year Kevin's mom was out at our brother in laws winery for an event and my parents were in Pebble Beach for a wedding, so Kevin asked me what I wanted to do for the day. 

I have been wanting to go to San Francisco as a family and do a "tourist day"

We live so close to SF, Kevin and I go there for Giants games, for shows or other events, but we haven't done a tourist day with our kids and do all the touristy things.

Spoiler Alert: I have more than 10 photos on today's 10 on 10 post :)

My beautiful peonies....I love May because that means Peony season!

I loved my handmade cards & letters from the girls. So thoughtful.

 We went to church on Saturday night so we could leave for the city around 9 and grab donuts & coffee on the way there. Yeah, we didn't leave until 10 and when we got to the donut shop, it was CLOSED because they were sold out of donuts. FAIL. 

We tried to get coffee at a few Starbucks & Peets, but they all had lines out the door. Looks like everyone wanted to go to coffee with their moms for Mothers Day!

We finally got our coffee :)

And, since we couldn't get donuts, we got blueberry muffins. My kids are obsessed with muffins.

Our first stop on our San Fransisco Tourist Day was the Golden Gate Bridge. I wanted to see if from the Sausalito side first. Sausalito is a cute little town on the other side of the bridge. SF on one side, Sausalito on the other.

 We drove up the 101 to get good views of the bridge & of the Bay.  It was a really foggy & windy day in the city. California has a bunch of micro climates, so even though it was sunny at home, you drive 30 miles to the ocean/bay and it can be 30 degrees colder & foggy.

 The views were incredible....Bridge to the left & on the right this:

We drove down lower to another viewing point & got this incredible view....The Golden Gate is just a STUNNING bridge.

It was SO windy. This is the best we could do for a photo of me & all 3 kids.

Then we drove across the bridge into San Francisco and the next thing I wanted to do was go see The Full House House.  Bummed I didn't see John Stamos at the house...I was 2 months too late (You've seen THIS article, right?)

(The house has been repainted since the show last aired 20 years ago in 1995, it is much darker now!)

 Full House was my FAVORITE show growing up. One of the reasons it was my favorite show is because it was based in San Francisco and because it was a family of 3 girls, just like me & my sisters. I can't WAIT for the Fuller House show that is coming out on Netflix next year! 

This lead me to our next stop...the famous "Painted Ladies" in SF. Which is a row of Victorian Houses (these are the houses that are on the opening credits of Full House) I was bummed it was so foggy, because usually you can see a great view of the city behind the houses.

 After the Painted Ladies, we drove over to the world Famous Lomard street!

After Lomard Street when headed to Pier 39 & Fisherman's Wharf for lunch...our favorite....clam chowder in a sourdough bread bowl.

 Pier 39 is a total tourist trap & so crowded, but it is always fun to check out. And, the fog had lifted, so it was nice to see blue skies!

 And, it stinks...like Seafood & Sea Lions. But, if you are in SF, you need to go check it out.

Next up was the world famous Ghirardelli Square!

The girls checked out chocolate being made and we shared a massive Brownie Ice Cream Hot Fudge Sundae.

As we walked back to the car the girls saw one (of the many) souvenir shops. Claire has been asking for a Warrior shirt, so since we were being "tourists" we had to get a shirt ;) 

We also let Kate pick out a new shirt (gotta be fair). She picked out an SF Giants shirt. I love that we have passed on our love of sports to our kids. Out of any t-shirt in the entire store, they both chose sports shirts :)

We headed home and decided to pick up Zachary's pizza on the way home.

Zachary's is my FAVORITE. It's deep dish pizza and amazing.

It was an awesome Mother's Day. The kids did great all day & they said it was one of the best days ever. 

So, there is my 10 on 10 for May 2015...Mother's Day San Francisco Tourist Day Edition!

 (which was more like 20 on 10...I had so many photos, I couldn't narrow it down to just 10) 
It was so fun being a "tourist" in the city.  Kevin & I are both born & raised here in the Bay Area and growing up, Kevin went to SF every weekend since his parents both grew up in the city & both sets of his grandparents lived there until they passed away. I know I take for granted living so close to this amazing city. We got a lot of things done on my "tourist" list. But, there is still SO much more that SF has to offer! If you've never been to SF, I highly recommend visiting. There is no city like it!

I hope you all had a great Mother's Day!

A Pacifier Problem.

HELP.

We have a pacifier problem.

I need your help. I need your advice.

You see, all my kids have had pacifiers since they were a few days old.

I didn't want them to be thumb suckers 

(My mom was a thumb sucker and sucked her thumb until she was 8!!! She warned me to not let my kids suck their thumbs since it was a hard habit to break. And, plus...all the germs with thumb sucking..yikes!)

So, I gave my kids pacifiers. 

Once they were around 6-7 months old, I only let them have the pacifier when they were in their car seat, stroller or crib.

Once they turned 9-10 months old, I only let them have the pacifier in their crib for naps & nighttime.

When the girls were babies, I took away their pacifiers right after their 1st birthdays.

They were horrible sleepers anyway and the pacifier didn't really help them sleep, so I just decided to get rid of it.

For Kate, it was about 3 rough nights without the pacifier (but then it was fine)

Claire's first night without the pacifier was rough and then she was fine.

Both girls barely slept through the night at 1 year old, so it wasn't like the pacifier was that big of a deal to take away.

When Luke turned 1 last August, he was sleeping 12 hours a night from 7 am until 7pm.

There was NO WAY we wanted to disrupt that by taking his pacifer away.

Plus, summer was ending and school was starting back up...sleep is PRECIOUS to me.

I didn't want to start the school year with sleep deprivation after having an amazing sleeper.

So, I said I would take it away during Thanksgiving Break when he was 15 months old.

November came and went and we didn't take away the pacifier because he slept so well and, sleep is PRECIOUS! 

I told myself I would take it away during Christmas Break.

Christmas Break rolls around and that is when Luke's 2 year molars decided to come in!

The poor kid was miserable and waking up all the time.

We would go into his room and he would be crying in his crib chewing on the pacifier trying to get some relief on his gums. 

I surely couldn't take it away then, poor little guy was in pain and his pacifier was his comfort.

So, I told myself.....I will wait until Spring Break to take away the pacifier.

Well, Spring Break was a couple weeks ago.

Did I take away the pacifier? 

No. 

I tried one night and he cried and cried and cried for almost an hour.

Ain't nobody got time for that.

(Plus, I was binge watching Breaking Bad....all that crying was interrupting that ;) Kidding. Kind of)

 

Luke is now 21 months and still has his pacifier during naps & nighttime.

There is ONE pacifier left in our house.

This is it:

It's an infant one, but he loves it.

I will not be buying anymore pacifiers.

The last day of school is on June 12th.

That is the last night I will let Luke have his pacifier.

But, that is also a month away....should I just suck it up and take the paci away now? 

Or wait another whole month until summer?

So, this is where I need your help.

I need you to keep me accountable.

I also need your advice.

Any tips on getting rid of the pacifier?

He is 21 months old, so he understands.

He knows that his pacifier has to stay in his crib. 

Every time he wakes up from his nap or in the morning, he knows to drop the paci in the crib before we take him out. 

Sometimes when we are playing in his room he will reach into his crib and grab his paci, put it in his mouth, laugh and run away from us so we won't take it away.....he is a sneaky little guy with a sense of humor.

I would love to hear how you got rid of your kids pacifiers!

HELP! 

I feel like a first time mom with this situation!

Thank you in advance!

"You Got Your Boy"

Without fail, for the past 19 months, if I am out & about with all 3 kids, strangers will come up to me, look at my 2 girls and then see Luke and say to me:

"Awwww. You got your boy"

The first few times I didn't think anything of it (I said things like that before I had kids) but after hearing this time and time again from strangers, it has started to bug me.

I kid you not, without fail, I hear things like this AT LEAST 2-3 times A WEEK.

"Your husband must be thrilled. He GOT his boy."

"Were you trying for a boy?"

"Are you done having kids now that you GOT your boy?"

Why do people assume that we wanted a boy rather than a girl?

I would have been TOTALLY thrilled with another girl.
I grew up in a family of 3 girls, it was (and is!) awesome!

Before I had kids, I was one of those strangers who would make comments to strangers like that & say "Oh, you got your girl or Yay! You got your boy" if they had 2 or 3 of one gender and then their final baby was the different gender. 

Or, I would say things like "Since you have 2 girls are you trying for a boy?"

Or, "Do you wish you had a girl? "You need a girl"

Ugh.

I was totally that person who would make those oblivious comments.

I am sure some of you reading have heard comments like this as well.

But, since having kids I don't say that anymore.

After I got pregnant with Kate after 2 miscarriages, I realized that I didn't care if I had a boy or a girl. 

I just wanted a baby.

We didn't find out gender with any of our pregnancies.

I am a TOTAL planner, but this is the one thing I wanted to have be a true surprise.
Not finding out the gender is hard...it's not for everyone, but we just loved not knowing.

In fact, when after Luke was born...when our family came into the hospital room, I was the one who announced what the baby was.

I didn't say "It's a Boy"

When everyone walked in, I said, "It's Luke!"

We didn't just get a boy...we got our Luke.

We got a truck loving & ball obsessed Luke who is also the sweetest, happiest guy there is.

We thought we were done having kids after Claire.

We were totally fine being a 2 kid family...a 2 girl family at that.

Life was good and we were feeling very content.

Then, God threw us curve ball & I was unexpectedly pregnant with #3.

People were completely shocked that we didn't find out gender with Luke.

People thought since we had 2 girls, then we would for sure find out with our 3rd.

We really, truly, did not care if we were having a girl or a boy.

People would ask what I wanted and I couldn't choose.

I loved growing up with all sisters, so I know 3 girls is SO fun!

But, on the other hand, I thought it might be fun to experience having a boy since I had sisters and 2 girls. 

But, really....I truly, truly, truly didn't care. And, neither did Kevin. 

We knew that boy or girl, God had a plan for our family.

He knew what we needed.

Turns out, His plan was for us to have our sweet Luke.

 

Yes, a lot of people do try for a boy or a girl....and that is totally fine! 

I have friends who desperately want a girl because they have all boys and I have friends who desperately want a boy because they have all girls. 

That is totally normal to have those feelings & desires.

I just know that from personal experience after hearing "You Got Your Boy" weekly from strangers for the past 19 months, that I will never say that to anyone again. 

 I feel like it puts unnecessary pressure & expectations on people who have all of the same gender.

Kids are gifts...Boy or Girl.

Even though I have 2 girls, they are TOTALLY different. 

And, Luke is also totally different as well.

They all have 3 unique personalities and traits.

Yes, I may have 2 girls and 1 boy, but really, I have....a Kate, a Claire & a Luke.

So, to the strangers who am I sure will continue to comment to me & say
"You got your Boy", 
I will continue to nod & smile when they say this to me.
 But what I really want to say is:

"No, random stranger in line at Target.  I didn't 'Get my boy'. 

What I got was so much more... I got a 3rd child....my sweet, happy, smiley & easy going Luke who has captured our hearts and completed our family. Oh, and he just happens to be a boy."

I was the best Mom ever. Then I had kids.

I have been reflecting a lot lately since Luke was born over a year ago & thinking about how much my mothering has changed since I had him compared to when I was a first time mom with Kate.

Then I started thinking about how my parenting has changed since before I had Kate, when I had no kids.

Because before I had my own kids, I was the best Mom EVER.

I wasn't a mom myself yet, but let me tell you, in my silently judging mind, I was the best. 

Oh, how funny that is to think back on in my carefree, childless days. 

I had NO clue. No clue, I tell you.

It's hard being a mom. Sooooooo hard.
Harder than I ever, ever thought it would be.

And, when you don't have kids of your own it is easy to judge and say to yourself,

 "When I'm a Mom, there is NO WAY I would do that (or let my kids do that)"

Let's take a look at the Top 10 things I said *I* would never do when I had kids.

1. Wear Pajamas/Costumes in public

I remember before having kids I would see kids at the store & they were wearing costumes (and it wasn't Halloween) or they were wearing pajamas!! Oh, the horror! I couldn't believe that their parents let them out of the house like that and took them to the store in a costume or pajamas! Then, I had my own kids and realized that sometimes it's just not worth the battle. Claire went through a phase when she was 2 and thought she was Belle. She literally wore her Belle dress every single day during the summer of 2010. And sometimes, I let her wear it when we went out on errands. It just wasn't worth the battle.

2. Watch TV before they were 2 years old
 I said I would NEVER let my kids watch TV before they were 2.  Then I got pregnant with Claire when Kate was 11 months old. Like all my pregnancies, I had 24/7 all day morning sickness. Soooo many times I would strap Kate into her high chair, toss some cheerios on the tray, wheel her high chair in front of the TV, turn on Sesame Street and then go puke in the bathroom. Good times, I tell you, good times. Sesame Street saved me during those times.

3. My kids won't be picky eaters.
I always said they will eat a variety of foods and I will make sure they have vegetables each day. 
I never understood why some kids were picky eaters. I am not a picky eater and neither is Kevin.  Surely our kids wouldn't be picky....

HA!
Boy was I wrong. Our girls are so, so, picky.
They have gotten better over the past year, but they are still picky and rarely eat what we eat for dinner, so I make them different meals pretty much EVERY.SINGLE.NIGHT.
I know this is a bad habit, but they were so low on the weight percentage (and still are) that I just wanted them to eat, so when they refused our meals, I would make them something different.
Ugh.

4. Wear mismatched clothes and/or character clothing
Let me be honest here, I despise character clothing. Not my thing. At all.
I said I would never, ever buy that stuff for my kids.
My girls would always beg for the Princess/Hello Kitty/Minnie Mouse shirts at Target & I would always say no. I finally gave in a couple years ago when Claire wanted to use a Target card she got for her birthday (Thanks, Kelly) on a Princess shirt. That shirt brought Claire SO much joy. I realized that it's okay to let your kids wear character clothing. 

While Claire loves character clothing, Kate loves mismatched clothes. Stripes, polka dots, 5 shades of purple? She doesn't care. The more mix-matched the better. And, you know what? I have let it go! Just as long as she is dressed.

Pick your battles, that is my motto.

5. I won't let the TV/Ipad/Iphone be a babysitter for my kids
 Again, rewind to when I was pregnant with Luke. Morning sickness 24-7. Soooo tired. Soooo sick. Teaching full time. Coming home and having two girls who were 3 & 5 and didn't nap anymore. They needed constant entertainment. Enter the TV and iPad. I am not kidding when I say that Luke's pregnancy was brought to you by the iPad. I let my girls play on it almost everyday after school so I could nap or barf. #Don'tJudge

6. Let my kid have a meltdown in public

 Pre-kids, I would see kid throw fits in the grocery store or at Target and just think to myself
"These parents have NO control over their kids. I will NEVER let my kids do that"
Yeah. So naive of me.
My girls have had so many public meltdowns.
The most memorable one was 2 years ago in the check out line at Safeway and one of my students mom was in line behind us.
Good times, I tell you, Good times.
I'll never forget what my students mom said to me with loving eyes.
"Hang in there, you are a great mom. It happens to all of us"
Amen, sister. Amen.

7. Bribe my kids
I said I would never bribe my kids.
HAHAHAHA.

I pretty much bribe them on a weekly basis.
I bribe them when we go to the go grocery shopping so that they don't have meltdowns.
I bribed them this past weekend when we had our family photo shoot.

 If you have ever done a family photo shoot, you know that bribery is necessary.
They got candy & a promise of a new toy if they cooperated.

8. Yell at my kids

 I remember going to the Mom's group at our church when Claire was a baby & Kate was almost 2. There was a speaker & she was talking about how you need to have patience with your kids and not yell/get angry with them. My girls were so young and Kate barely talked. I couldn't imagine ever losing my patience with them. How could I ever get angry or loose patience with my kids?
HAHAHAHA. Wow. As my kids are older I resist the urge to yell on a daily basis.

9.  Let my kids have a pacifier after 12 months old.
I took away the girls pacifers when they were 12-13 months old.
Easy peasy. It was 1 or 2 rough nights, and then no big deal.
I didn't want them to have pacifiers longer than 1 year old.
Luke is now 15 months old and he still has his paci.
He only gets it in his crib.
I just can't take it away yet because he is such a good sleeper (12 hours a night) and I am scared that if I take the pacifier away, then it will ruin his great sleep habits.
But, I know the longer I wait, the more attached he will get to the pacifier and the harder it will be to get rid of it. Ahhhh!!!!
Decisions, decisions. 

10. Take my kids out of school for a vacation in the middle of the school year

When I first started teaching, I would get so frustrated when parents would take their kids out of school for vacation in the middle of the school year. I mean, why couldn't they take their vacations during Summer, Thanksgiving, Christmas or Spring Break?!?!
Then, I had my own kids and realized that sometimes things come up and that you might need to take a trip or vacation during the school year. For example, in March, we had a wedding to attend on a Friday in Southern California and we decided that we better extend our trip and take the kids to Disneyland while we were down there. Yes, I missed 2 days of school & so did Kate. I said I would never do that, but you know what? YOLO. You only live once! Do what you gotta do.


Oh, I was so naive.
So, so, so naive about all these things before I was a mom.

Motherhood....It's all about survival.

And, being the best mom we can be to our kids.
And you?
If you are doing YOUR best, then you are the Best Mom Ever for your kids.
Here is an award, from me to you.

You are the Worlds Best Mom to Your kids.
Why? Because you are YOU and no one loves them like you do.

Since becoming a mother, I've realized I'm not the best mom EVER, but I'm the best mom I can be for *my* kids.
Each kid is different, even my 3 are SO different from one another.

Who I am to judge how you parent your kids?

Number one rule of parenting? Never say never.
 Chances are, you'll end up doing it.
And, try not to judge other moms who may do things differently than you.
What have you said that you would NEVER let your kids do & then ended up letting them?

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And, thanks for all your support with my Rodan + Fields announcement!
I am excited about it!
Enter the giveaway HERE to win a skin regime of your choice!
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Back to School is kicking my butt. Is it kicking yours too?

Mayday. Mayday. 

I am waving my white flag. 

I surrender. 

Me, as Wonder Woman at age 4. 

I am trying to channel my inner Wonder Woman, 30 years later.  I could use a lot of Wonder Woman's powers these days. Wonder-Mel....where are you?

Back to School is officially kicking my a$$.

And, it's doing the same to my girls.

We have officially finished the first 4 weeks of school. 

So, 1 month in and things are still a disaster. 

The girls LOVE school. They love their teachers.
BUT.

Everyday when I pick them up, they are DONE. 

EXHAUSTED.

Arguing. Fighting. Nagging each other. Tears. Whining. Complaining.

EVERYDAY.

Seriously. Who's kids are these & what have you done with my girls?!?!?

MAKE IT STOP.

We have never had this much "drama" going back to school.

The past few weeks, I have been wondering why this year is so different. 

I realized that they are in school for longer than they are used to.

Last year, Claire was in preschool 3 days a week (in the morning) for 2.5 hours.

This year, she is in Transitional Kindergarten 5 days a week for  3.5 hours a day....in the afternoon.

It is a much longer day for her. TK is much, much, much more academic than Preschool.

Poor Claire is just exhausted when she gets home.

This just confirms 100% that we did the right thing on sending her to Transitional Kindergarten rather than Kindergarten. (You can read my post here on why we decided to do TK.)

At least we have done something right. Ha!

Kate is now in 1st grade which means she is at school for 6 hours everyday instead of 3 hours like Kindergarten. And, 1st grade is academically more intense than Kindergarten, so she is just plain exhausted also. In Kinder, she had monthly homework packets. They were super easy, no big deal. This year, she has weekly homework packets & needs to do assignments each day.

We tried doing them at home after we pick up Claire, but Kate just wants to play & is distracted by Claire, so because we have a crazy pick up schedule & I have 45 minutes between Kate getting out & Claire getting out, we have been doing Kate's homework in the car while we wait for Claire. So far that has worked this week, but I feel bad that Kate has to do her homework in the car.

 

Elementary School is a whole new ball game compared to Preschool.

Gone are the easy-breezy afternoons filled with baking, crafts & playdates.

 I thought since I am teaching less classes this year that I would have more time to fun things with my kids. Ummm, NO.

Depending on the day, I am done anywhere between 12:00 and 12:45. 

Then, I have to go get Luke.

Then, we have to drive & pick up Kate from school.

Then, we wait at school until Claire is out at 3:05. 

By the time I get everyone loaded back in the car & drive home, it is 3:30 by the time we get home.

So, basically, Luke and I spend about 2-2.5 hours waiting around or sitting in the car each afternoon. 

Not what I was envisioning. Now I understand why moms feel like they are taxi cab drivers.

And, poor Luke. Poor 3rd kid.  Stuck in the car. Thank you, Jesus that he is a happy go-lucky kid.

This past month hasn't fazed him one bit. 

We could all stand to learn a little something from Luke.....Just go with the flow!

I am tired from teaching 125 7th graders each morning. 

My brain is on over load learning about the new Common Core and implementing it into my classroom.

I am tired from waiting around & doing pick ups for 2 hours each afternoon.

 Everyday I brace myself for World War 3 at my house from the hours of 3:30-7:30. 

I am tired & have little patience during this time.

My poor girls are also exhausted. They bicker & push each others buttons.

They are having epic meltdowns that I have never seen them have before. 

 And, they are hungry because they haven't been eating the lunches I pack them (so frustrating...they even help pick out what they want)

Luke isn't napping as much because we are on the go.

And, he is on the go. He is a busy, busy, guy. Thank God he is happy.

Each evening I find myself counting down the minutes until Kevin gets home, until wine-thirty and until bedtime. 

That is not how I want to end each day with my kids...waiting for them to go to bed. But, that is how I have felt the last few weeks & that sucks.

I would have thought that by a month into school, we would have gotten into a routine & flow by now. 

My house is a DISASTER.

Decorations from Claire's Tangled birthday party are still up.

I have 4 loads of laundry that need to be folded. 

A dishwasher that needs to be unloaded.

But, I am too busy being a referee to the girls to keep up with any of the house stuff.

Thank you for letting me vent. I didn't mean to be so complain-y. 

Just keeping it real.

Life is good,  it has just been a rough re-entry for us.

Hoping this little season passes soon.

Anyone else having a rough time getting back into the swing of things this school year?

Please tell me I am not alone in this. 

HELP.

And send wine. 

Chapter 4: Your Body After Birthing a Baby + a $100 Babies R Us Giveaway!

I remember when I was pregnant with Kate & about to be a first time mom.

I was filled with excitement, anticipation & feeling like I had no idea what we were getting ourselves into.

Even though I had babysat a ton in middle school & high school and was comfortable around babies, I wanted to make sure Kevin and I were TOTALLY prepared for when baby came. 

The last few months of my pregnancy we got the nursery ready, we registered, people threw me baby showers. We were "prepared" with all the baby items.

Our hospital offered classes for expecting parents. We took the Infant CPR class,  care of Newborn class, the breastfeeding class, took the hospital tour and of course took the 2 day Labor & Delivery class. I read books, and articles & websites. Information overload, but I was prepared!

We were ready!

My due date came & went and 2 days after, my doctor decided to induce me because it was a "big" baby.  

The induction went well, I was pumped full of pitocin, got an epidural 12 hours into it, had to push for almost 3 hours and then heard the most glorious words ever spoken, "It's a GIRL!"

We were overcome with emotion, so happy to have delivered a healthy 8.5 pound baby girl. 

Which left me with a 2nd degree tear and almost 20 stitches. Yowza.

I was on an adrenaline rush & felt no pain. And also, epidural. Thank you, Jesus.

Because of my long labor,  I hadn't slept in 36 hours, but I was on cloud 9.  I went to sleep that night with our baby girl in the isolette next to me in the hospital room feeling incredible. 

I had just birthed a baby. I was officially a mother.

I woke up the next morning being poked prodded by nurses who were checking on me "down there" It had been over 12 hours since  I gave birth, so all the meds had worn off.

I felt like I had been hit by a semi-truck.

 My whole body hurt. 

My legs, my arms, my neck, my jaw muscles, my face. 

I was a college athlete. I played all 4 years of college & did 3 a days during preseason.

I thought I was tough & had a good pain tolerance.

But, this? The after birth pain? Ridiculous.

My right hand, my index, middle and ring fingers had nerve damage from holding my legs while pushing for 3 hours.

The tips of those 3 fingers were numb and tingly. It was very strange. It lasted 2 weeks!

WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME ABOUT THE AFTER BIRTH PAIN?

I took all those classes at the hospital. 

I had tons of friends who had babies.

NO ONE TOLD ME ABOUT THE AFTER BIRTH PAIN!

Why doesn't anyone talk about it?

No one tells you about that pain you feel the next day after giving birth! 

Or the amount of blood that comes out of you!!!

The blood, oh the blood.

Since my birth with Kate, I made sure EVERY WOMAN I knew who was pregnant & having a baby for the first time was informed about the after birth. 

More people need to talk about it. 

There needs to be awareness about the blood & the pain that you feel in your lady parts.

And, it didn't just last for a few days.

About a week after having Kate, I was having pain when I went #2.

The hospital sent me home with stool softeners, but when they ran out a few days later, I never got a new bottle. I thought I was fine.

I was not fine.

Every time I went to the bathroom, it felt like I was (excuse my language) "shitting a knife". 

There was blood and I couldn't sit down for a few hours after going #2.

I assumed it was a hemorrhoid.

I managed to not get hemorrhoids during my pregnancy, but I assumed that I developed one while pushing out a baby for 3 hours.

 I made an appointment with my doctor to get my 'roid checked out.

He did a full on 'roid check. 

That was embarrassing. And uncomfortable.

Turns out it wasn't a hemrohoid. 

It was an ANAL FISSUE.

Which is basically a tear in your a$$ hole.

Lovely.

Because I tore so badly in my lady parts when giving birth, it also caused tears in the other whole.

 Every time I went #2, it got worse.  And because I stopped my stool softeners a few days after giving birth, it really caused issues, like an Anal Fissue.

Because of my fissure (who I referred to as Fred the Fissure), 

I had to be on stool softeners and sit on a pillow until Kate was SIX MONTHS OLD.

I couldn't use toilet paper (too painful) but had to use moist towelettes every time I went to the bathroom.  FOR SIX MONTHS.

Why do I tell you these things?

Because no one told me about the after birth pain.

No class mentioned it & none of my friends who had given birth talked about it.

But me? I tell all my 1st time to be mom friends about it.

The good news? 

My after birth & recoveries with Claire & Luke were a piece of cake.

But that first time? That was rough.

Moral of the story?

Don't stop taking Stool Softeners until a few weeks after birth or you might end up with some issues like  me. Somehow, that got left out of all the books & classes I read while preparing for Kate's birth & becoming a mother. Stool softeners are your friend. Fred the Fissure is not.

And, also?

Talk about your after birth stories with friends. 

You can learn a lot from each other.

My story is Chapter 4 in the MAM Blogger Real Parenting Guide. I encourage you to read other chapters and find out more about all the stuff, like the bottles, pacifiers and teethers that MAM makes to make the job of parenting easier.

Want to win a $100 Babies “R” Us gift card?

Leave a comment below answering the following question: “What’s the funniest thing you said while in labor?”

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Mother's Day {2013}

We had a lovely Mother's Day weekend. Saturday the girls and I went to a lovely tea that was put on by some of the Kindergarten Mom's at Kate's school.

 The tea was adorable. I am trying to convince one of my girls to have a Tea Party Birthday Party!

We got our picture taken & they made these adorable frames at the tea party for Mother's Day.

On Sunday, I was woken up to Claire screaming her head off & crying. She wanted Kevin.

But, Kevin (and Kate) had gone to get me a vanilla latte, donuts & flowers.

Claire finally snapped out of it when she saw donuts. 

 I enjoyed my donut & coffee in bed :)
The 2 dozen roses they gave me. Gorgeous.

Kevin, vacuuming the couch. What a guy!

They sent me out of the house (in Kevin's car) so that Kevin could wash & clean out my car.
I enjoyed a quiet trip to Target (by myself!!!) and I also went and got a mani/pedi.
So relaxing, so thankful for my awesome husband giving me the day "off"

 After I got home it was time to get ready for our Mother's Day Dinner.
Because we live within 5 minutes of our parents & siblings (So blessed!), we decided to host Mother's Day Dinner at our house. That way, we could celebrate Mother's Day with BOTH of our Mom's and not run around all day splitting up time between our families.
We are also extremely blessed that my parents and Kevin's parents get along fabulously.
Our parents, chilling poolside with Luke:

 The weather was gorgeous so we had the entire get together outside so the kids could swim.
My sisters brought the appetizers.

Corn Dip! Recipe {Here}



My sister's first Mother's Day!

My first Mother's Day as a boy mom! Love, love, love this kid.

First Mother's Day as a mom of THREE!

I LOVED all the handmade cards they made me. Please note the envelope Kate made me with the SF on it, for the San Francisco Giants. She knows (and shares) my love of the Giants.

And, the cards they made me? Covered in Fall Decorations because they know Fall is my FAVORITE and that I LOVE FALL.

This card? Made me tear up.

Love what Kate made at school. That's ME! :)

 Look what my sister in law made my my mother law? I want it!

For dinner, we grilled some Salmon on the BBQ.  Yum!

And, a bunch of yummy sides!
Couscous Arugula Salad:

Strawberry Spinach Salad: {Recipe Here}

Party Potatoes:

The entire spread:

My sisters & I with our mom:

Kevin & his brother with their mom:

 It was such a nice, relaxing time. Truly, a great, great, day.

As my Father-In-Law was leaving our house Sunday night, I said,
"Thank you for coming over. I am so glad that you & my parents like each other. It is just easier to celebrate some holidays all together"
His response?  
"We don't just like each other, we LOVE each other." 

And, that my friends is how I teared up for the approximately the 42nd time on Mother's Day.