I was the best Mom ever. Then I had kids.

I have been reflecting a lot lately since Luke was born over a year ago & thinking about how much my mothering has changed since I had him compared to when I was a first time mom with Kate.

Then I started thinking about how my parenting has changed since before I had Kate, when I had no kids.

Because before I had my own kids, I was the best Mom EVER.

I wasn't a mom myself yet, but let me tell you, in my silently judging mind, I was the best. 

Oh, how funny that is to think back on in my carefree, childless days. 

I had NO clue. No clue, I tell you.

It's hard being a mom. Sooooooo hard.
Harder than I ever, ever thought it would be.

And, when you don't have kids of your own it is easy to judge and say to yourself,

 "When I'm a Mom, there is NO WAY I would do that (or let my kids do that)"

Let's take a look at the Top 10 things I said *I* would never do when I had kids.

1. Wear Pajamas/Costumes in public

I remember before having kids I would see kids at the store & they were wearing costumes (and it wasn't Halloween) or they were wearing pajamas!! Oh, the horror! I couldn't believe that their parents let them out of the house like that and took them to the store in a costume or pajamas! Then, I had my own kids and realized that sometimes it's just not worth the battle. Claire went through a phase when she was 2 and thought she was Belle. She literally wore her Belle dress every single day during the summer of 2010. And sometimes, I let her wear it when we went out on errands. It just wasn't worth the battle.

2. Watch TV before they were 2 years old
 I said I would NEVER let my kids watch TV before they were 2.  Then I got pregnant with Claire when Kate was 11 months old. Like all my pregnancies, I had 24/7 all day morning sickness. Soooo many times I would strap Kate into her high chair, toss some cheerios on the tray, wheel her high chair in front of the TV, turn on Sesame Street and then go puke in the bathroom. Good times, I tell you, good times. Sesame Street saved me during those times.

3. My kids won't be picky eaters.
I always said they will eat a variety of foods and I will make sure they have vegetables each day. 
I never understood why some kids were picky eaters. I am not a picky eater and neither is Kevin.  Surely our kids wouldn't be picky....

HA!
Boy was I wrong. Our girls are so, so, picky.
They have gotten better over the past year, but they are still picky and rarely eat what we eat for dinner, so I make them different meals pretty much EVERY.SINGLE.NIGHT.
I know this is a bad habit, but they were so low on the weight percentage (and still are) that I just wanted them to eat, so when they refused our meals, I would make them something different.
Ugh.

4. Wear mismatched clothes and/or character clothing
Let me be honest here, I despise character clothing. Not my thing. At all.
I said I would never, ever buy that stuff for my kids.
My girls would always beg for the Princess/Hello Kitty/Minnie Mouse shirts at Target & I would always say no. I finally gave in a couple years ago when Claire wanted to use a Target card she got for her birthday (Thanks, Kelly) on a Princess shirt. That shirt brought Claire SO much joy. I realized that it's okay to let your kids wear character clothing. 

While Claire loves character clothing, Kate loves mismatched clothes. Stripes, polka dots, 5 shades of purple? She doesn't care. The more mix-matched the better. And, you know what? I have let it go! Just as long as she is dressed.

Pick your battles, that is my motto.

5. I won't let the TV/Ipad/Iphone be a babysitter for my kids
 Again, rewind to when I was pregnant with Luke. Morning sickness 24-7. Soooo tired. Soooo sick. Teaching full time. Coming home and having two girls who were 3 & 5 and didn't nap anymore. They needed constant entertainment. Enter the TV and iPad. I am not kidding when I say that Luke's pregnancy was brought to you by the iPad. I let my girls play on it almost everyday after school so I could nap or barf. #Don'tJudge

6. Let my kid have a meltdown in public

 Pre-kids, I would see kid throw fits in the grocery store or at Target and just think to myself
"These parents have NO control over their kids. I will NEVER let my kids do that"
Yeah. So naive of me.
My girls have had so many public meltdowns.
The most memorable one was 2 years ago in the check out line at Safeway and one of my students mom was in line behind us.
Good times, I tell you, Good times.
I'll never forget what my students mom said to me with loving eyes.
"Hang in there, you are a great mom. It happens to all of us"
Amen, sister. Amen.

7. Bribe my kids
I said I would never bribe my kids.
HAHAHAHA.

I pretty much bribe them on a weekly basis.
I bribe them when we go to the go grocery shopping so that they don't have meltdowns.
I bribed them this past weekend when we had our family photo shoot.

 If you have ever done a family photo shoot, you know that bribery is necessary.
They got candy & a promise of a new toy if they cooperated.

8. Yell at my kids

 I remember going to the Mom's group at our church when Claire was a baby & Kate was almost 2. There was a speaker & she was talking about how you need to have patience with your kids and not yell/get angry with them. My girls were so young and Kate barely talked. I couldn't imagine ever losing my patience with them. How could I ever get angry or loose patience with my kids?
HAHAHAHA. Wow. As my kids are older I resist the urge to yell on a daily basis.

9.  Let my kids have a pacifier after 12 months old.
I took away the girls pacifers when they were 12-13 months old.
Easy peasy. It was 1 or 2 rough nights, and then no big deal.
I didn't want them to have pacifiers longer than 1 year old.
Luke is now 15 months old and he still has his paci.
He only gets it in his crib.
I just can't take it away yet because he is such a good sleeper (12 hours a night) and I am scared that if I take the pacifier away, then it will ruin his great sleep habits.
But, I know the longer I wait, the more attached he will get to the pacifier and the harder it will be to get rid of it. Ahhhh!!!!
Decisions, decisions. 

10. Take my kids out of school for a vacation in the middle of the school year

When I first started teaching, I would get so frustrated when parents would take their kids out of school for vacation in the middle of the school year. I mean, why couldn't they take their vacations during Summer, Thanksgiving, Christmas or Spring Break?!?!
Then, I had my own kids and realized that sometimes things come up and that you might need to take a trip or vacation during the school year. For example, in March, we had a wedding to attend on a Friday in Southern California and we decided that we better extend our trip and take the kids to Disneyland while we were down there. Yes, I missed 2 days of school & so did Kate. I said I would never do that, but you know what? YOLO. You only live once! Do what you gotta do.


Oh, I was so naive.
So, so, so naive about all these things before I was a mom.

Motherhood....It's all about survival.

And, being the best mom we can be to our kids.
And you?
If you are doing YOUR best, then you are the Best Mom Ever for your kids.
Here is an award, from me to you.

You are the Worlds Best Mom to Your kids.
Why? Because you are YOU and no one loves them like you do.

Since becoming a mother, I've realized I'm not the best mom EVER, but I'm the best mom I can be for *my* kids.
Each kid is different, even my 3 are SO different from one another.

Who I am to judge how you parent your kids?

Number one rule of parenting? Never say never.
 Chances are, you'll end up doing it.
And, try not to judge other moms who may do things differently than you.
What have you said that you would NEVER let your kids do & then ended up letting them?

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I am excited about it!
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