Happy 1st Birthday, Luke!

Dear Luke,
Today you are ONE.
I can't even believe it.
Several times have tried to sit down and write you your birthday letter, but the tears just flow.
Words can not even express how much you are loved & what a joy you are.
I remember the day I found out I was pregnant with you.
December 7, 2011.
You were quite the surprise.
You see, we thought we were done.
I was scared about having another.
The girls were 3 & almost 5. We had a good thing going, I was totally content with our family.
The girls were self sufficient, we hadn't had diapers or cribs in years.
We were on cruise control.
And, then I saw the 2 pink lines.
I was shocked. And scared.

{Bunting made by my friend Heather} 

I was scared about being pregnant again.
 How would I handle another 9 months of 24/7 morning sickness?
3 kids? Could we manage the zone defense rather than man to man?

I am so, so, so, glad that God had other plans.
I can't imagine our lives without you.
I can't imagine our family without you.
You are by far, the best unexpected blessing I have ever gotten.

This past year has been a blessing. 

You have been a dream baby.

Sure, you didn't sleep that great for the first few months, but once you hit 4 months, BAM! Sleeping through the night. 10-12 hour stretches & you haven't looked back. This was so different from the girls who didn't do this until they were almost a year.

God knew we needed a good sleeper. We looooove sleep in this family.

You are the most chill baby ever. I don't know if it is because you are #3, or your personality, but you just go with the flow. We can take you anywhere. You are the best traveler, do great at outings and at restaurants and don't mind being dragged around to your sisters various outings.

Speaking of your sisters, oh, how they adore you.

Borderline obsessive. They always want to hold you, play with you and do things for you.

I thought this would wear off within the first month or so of your life, but no. 

They just love, love, love you. Who could blame them? You are so easy to love.

Everybody loves you, Luke. 

Every time we are out, you are always flashing your big toothy smile at people.

Anyone & everyone is greeted with the classic Luke grin.

Yesterday, when I was doing your photoshoot, everytime a hiker walked by you would wave at them & flash them your awesome smile. You put on quite the show and one lady wanted me to send her one of these photos because you were the cutest thing she had ever seen. I couldn't agree more.

Luke, my prayer for you is that you would continue to be an easy going happy guy.

I pray that God would use your zeal for life in a positive way and that you love people like Jesus loved. I pray you never loose your trademark smile or the sparkle in your big brown eyes.

You're going places, Luke and it is an honor to watch you grow.

The name Luke means "Light Giver" and that you are. 

You bring a light & joy to everyone around you.

I pray you continue to do that.

I let you stay up a little bit late last night because I didn't want to put you to bed because I knew that when you woke up, you would be ONE. And that makes me sad and happy all mixed together.

I have been weaning you for the last few weeks, nursing you but giving you cow's milk as well. 

Last night, I rocked you goodnight & had you nurse for 1 last time. And you bit me. Hard. 

(You have 12 teeth,  and it's not the first time that has happened)

At that moment, I knew it was our last time nursing. It was like you were telling me that it's okay and our time nursing is done. I got the message, loud & clear (ouch!)

Luke, You've made me a better mom.

Because of you, I am trying to worry less and just go with the flow more.

You have reminded me that the days are long but the years are short.

  Last night as I went to sleep, I had tears streaming down my face.

There is something about the 1st birthday that just cuts deep to the core of mothers.

There's something so magical & special about the first year. 

I am grieving the fact that our first year is over. 

Everything this year has been a first for you. 

And now that's over.

This past week I have been looking back at all your photos & re-reading your birth story and remembering what it was like anticipating your arrival this time last year.

 I have cherished this year so much knowing that you really are our last baby.

And, now I am mourning the fact that my baby isn't really a baby anymore.

You are ONE.

A walking, talking, mouth full of teeth ONE year old.

It's gone by in a flash.

It has been one of the best years, but one of the hardest years.

Having 3 kids is no joke.

It's a game changer, but I am so glad our game was changed.

You are a gift. 

A gift we didn't know we needed or wanted.

Luke James, I am so glad God gave us you.

So, here's to you Luke. 

My only son. 

My baby boy forever.

The one who completed our family.

I hope you never forget how loved you are.

Happiest 1st Birthday, sweet boy.

Love you forever, 

Mama