Keeping it Real: Pregnancy Edition

Here's the deal.
I am almost 34 weeks pregnant with Baby #3 and I have a confession.
Never have, never will.
Do I love babies & children? YES.
Do I love being pregnant? NO. Not even close.
Yes, I know that pregnancy is a miracle.
Yes, I am so incredibly thankful to be able to have children.
And, yes, I know children are a blessing....
Being pregnant is not my favorite thing.
(This is one of the first times I feel like I can admit that without feeling like a terrible person)

I think of pregnancy as a means to an end.
You have to suffer for 9 months & then you get a beautiful reward at the end, a newborn baby.
I have said this before & I will say it again....I would rather give birth everyday than be pregnant.

One of the reasons I am not a fan of pregnancy is because I get horrible morning sickness.
From the moment I hit 6 weeks, I am nauseous 24/7 and it feels like I am hungover.
At almost 34 weeks, my nausea still hasn't gone away.
Thankfully, I haven't puked since 26 weeks, but from 6 weeks until 26 weeks I was barfing multiple times a day. That is not fun. Especially when I am teaching and especially when I have 2 little girls at home to take care of.
And, I can't tell you how many times I peed my pants while barfing. What is up with that?!?! Please tell me I am not the only one who this happens to.
Even though I get bad morning sickness, I know it could be worse.
I am thankful that I don't puke all 9 months and I am thankful that I never had to be hospitalized for nausea/dehydration.
I am thankful I never had to be on bed rest.
For the women who have had to deal with all of that, you are my heroes.

When I am pregnant, I am not a good wife or mother.
I am too sick to cook the first 5 months, so my poor girls lived on mac & cheese, chicken nuggets and PB&J for dinner because all I could eat was cereal. The act of opening the fridge & smelling it would send me running for the bathroom.
I am not joking when I say that the iPad literally babysat my girls for weeks on end.
My motto for this pregnancy has been,
"Survival of this pregnancy has been brought to you by the iPad"

My worst time was from 4 o'clock on. I would be exhausted from teaching & my nausea would peak in the late afternoon. The girls would play with the iPad while I laid on the couch trying not to barf. Not my best parenting months, but it was survival mode.
You gotta do what you gotta do to get through it, right?

And, poor, poor, Kevin. I think he ate chips/salsa for dinner for months.
He has done SO much around the house & with the girls because I just don't/didn't have the energy. While he got them ready for bed & read them books, I would already be in bed (or puking in the bathroom) He put/puts up with a lot when I am pregnant.
We always joked that when I was pregnant with Claire that it was our last pregnancy because our marriage couldn't survive another pregnancy. Ha! Well, here we are almost 34 weeks into this one and we survived...so far! :) He is a good, good, man for dealing with Pregnant Mel.

I am also a paranoid freak show when I am pregnant.
I refuse to take anti-nausea meds because I am a paranoid that it will harm the baby. You would think that by this 3rd baby, I would have mellowed out with the paranoia, but no, it hasn't.
I am a worrier and pregnancy just escalates that.
I worry about what I eat because "Is that safe to eat when pregnant?!?"
I google WAY too much. I even googled if it was safe to have a slurpee when pregnant because after I had one, I thought for sure it was on the do not have when pregnant list & I was worried that slurpee would harm my baby.
I told you I was a freak show.
I have many, many more ridiculous things that I have googled, but I will spare you (and spare myself the embarrassment of being so ridiculous)

During my pregnancies with Kate & Claire I never really admitted to people how much I loathed being pregnant, it made me feel guilty. But, I feel like I need to be honest & admit freely that I do not like being pregnant. And, I think that is okay.
I have never said (nor will I ever say) "I miss being pregnant, I just love it"

I wish I could be one of those pregnant women who just love being pregnant & don't freak out about every little thing, but that is not me. Each day, I pray that God will take over my fears about being pregnant, calm my heart and keep my baby healthy.
It is a daily battle for me not to worry and think something is wrong.
Maybe I am this way because I had 2 miscarriages before I had Kate, but maybe I am naturally a worrier. Either way, my worry is amplified during pregnancy. I don't like feeling anxious & stressed. That is not who I am (except when pregnant).

To the women who LOVE being pregnant and love every aspect of it, ROCK ON!
To the women who are surrogate mothers, and willingly carry a baby for someone, you are my FREAKING HERO.
To the women who don't like being pregnant, you are NOT ALONE.

For the next 6.5 weeks until this baby is born, I am going to *try* and change my attitude.
I will try to enjoy this time because it is FOR SURE my last pregnancy.
I will celebrate each day that gets me closer to not being pregnant EVER again.
Each day that passes means I am one day closer to meeting this precious one (boy or girl?!?!) that completes our little family and I just can't wait until he/she is in my arms and not my uterus.


  1. Oh Mel, you beat me to this post. I loved being pregnant with Anna, but after a crazy wild ride with this one (on top of a 3rd trimester spent in heat and humidity), I TOTALLY get why women don't like being pregnant.

    And yes, it is a miracle. The peeing your pants every time you barf/sneeze/run on the treadmill... not so much ;) You're almost done!

  2. peeing pants while barfing...right here girl! But I do love being pregnant, especially this time around. Sorry :( I also didn't have to seal with nausea this whole time either though...

  3. it's a love/hate relationship with me! i do like it to some degree, but it is so hard on our family and me! i'm with you on the survival has been on computer/tv/movie mode for the past few months! not too much longer! i have about 8 weeks left!

  4. I'm in the pee and barf club, too! A few weeks ago after a very rough episode (of both) I cried and swore to my husband that he would never have to worry about this.

    He dislikes pregnancy the most.

    We are almost there, friend!

  5. You have captured my feelings exactly about pregnancy. I'll take the newborn lack of sleep any day over pregnancy. I love giving birth to the babies, but I do not enjoy the 9 months of pregnancy. I like feeling them inside me but that is about it.

    I just had my third and final baby. While I am so sad that I will not have anymore, there is a part of me that is relieved that I won't put my body through another 9 month pregnancy. I don't think it could handle it.

  6. I hate being pregnant, too. Like, hate it. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, world. I HATE BEING PREGNANT. I feel awful like you often. Luckily the nausea has stopped but I puke for a long, long time, and YES--I piss my pants every.single.time I puke, too. HOW IS THIS FAIR?!

    Basically, I think every.single.day that I get to see a cute, squishy face at the end. And I want the time to fly by so it comes like, yesterday! I SO FEEL YOU.

  7. I love your honesty and your blog!
    Thanks for being real,

  8. Oh girl..I agree with every.single.word!!! I seriously could have written this post 6 months ago when I was 34 weeks preggo:). I longed to be pregnant for so long and then I hated it...each and every one of my pregnancies have been horrible (sick, tired, freak show worrier, me seriously good for nothing). I have never been more thankful to be DONE:). I love now when I hear of people who are pregnant that I can be so excited I never have to do it again. Ha! All that to say, it is SUCH a blessing and miracle and I am so so so thankful that the Lord allowed me to experience it (even though it was not fun). You are almost done!!! Can't wait to "meet" the precious babe:).

  9. I am so with you, I hated being pregnant, which is why I have 1 and will only ever have 1. Even though I had a what some would envy: no morning sickness, no bloating, and a weight gain of 18 lbs. But I was miserable, coughing for months on end with no relief because I was way to freaked out to take medicine. I am glad to hear that I am not the only one who hated/hates being pregnant. You are almost there and you will survive.

  10. I just loved this post. I couldn't help but go back and read a bit about your miscarriages. I've just experienced one at 10 weeks (D&C on May 17th) and it's been a living nightmare. My pregnancy was very rough (survival mode is what I called it) and then when I lost it, I just felt so lost and empty. It feels like it's never ending and I get angry and sad, wondering what God is trying to teach me through all of this. Your life story gives me a lot of hope.

  11. I could have written this myself. I feel exactly the same way. I LOVE giving birth but HATE being pregnant. Can't believe that I've done it 5 times and one of those was a twin pregnancy which was twice as difficult.

    I felt so guilty complaining about my pregnancy with Brady because I was so incredibly grateful to be pregnant again (it took 3 years of trying after Nate died). But it was a MISERABLE pregnancy. I was so sick and full of anxiety that I only gained 19 pounds and never even wore maternity clothes (my regular clothes still fit).

    I'm so glad that you are almost done. It will truly all be worth it and God knew that your marriage could survive another pregnancy which is why he blessed you with this unexpected gift.


    ps- Kudos to you for blogging through the past 7 months :)

  12. I have to say I love the honesty here, Mel. I'm so sorry your pregnancy(ies) have been soo hard. You are almost there. Please don't feel bad about the ipad parenting. You gotta do what you gotta do and there is a time and season for everything. I had pregnancy paranoia too and wouldn't eat anything that could have ever possibly been on a "do not eat while pregnant" list. I can't wait to meet your little one.

  13. Thanks fer keeping it real. I always wanted to write a post like this but never got the words together quite right.
    After one miscarriage and 3.5 years of infertility I swore to myself I would never complain about being pregnant, so I suffered in silence when things got bad. Thanks for voicing your struggles in such an encouraging way!

  14. Mel I have to be completely honest (sticking with your post theme!) and say that after just suffering a second MC in this last month at 9 weeks this post was very hard to read. That said I do appreciate your honesty. When I was pregnant with my little girl I had a lot of problems with a pre-existing condition which were heightened during pregnancy and it made it all so hard! It was even worse when people seemed to expect me to be smiling and have that pregnancy "glow" all the time. Added onto that the fact that before I had my daughter I was a complete paranoid nut job about everything because my first MC happened just before I was pregnant with her so I worried about everything. I really do hope that if i'm ever blessed to be able to be pregnant again that I will be able to relax enough to enjoy it (...and now i'm crying). There were aspects of it I LOVED with my daughter, especially feeling her move in there.

    Sorry to put a dampner on things. Oh and don't feel guitly for the ipdad parenting. This MC has left me with anaemia and I have been guilty of jumperoo and babytv parenting over the last month whilst I recover.

  15. I am with you on this post. I am pregnant with my first and have always heard people say what a blessing it is. And I agree, it is. But I have not enjoyed it. I was vomiting for the first 12 weeks and once I hit the 2nd trimester, the nausea/vomiting mostly went away, but now I have all these sinus issues. What feels like an ear infection, bloody nose, & chronic congestion. Not to mention, the headaches. But, I can't wait to meet this baby! It'll all be worth it in the end. :)

  16. If I had the all day sickness thing for that long--I wouldn't like it either. I don't do throw up. So, I can respect your opinion on this matter. Fortunately, God gifted me three easy pregnancies...because had I the kind of experiences you did, I can not imagine I could have done it three times. You are a hero!

  17. I didn't even have the sickness issue & I can tell you that I certainly didn't "enjoy" being pregnant. As you said, it was a means to an end and the end was OH so worth it!

    I have actually been banned by my husband, mother, & best friend from ever googling anything baby-related again. I turned into an absolute freak-show a few weeks post-partum when I was googling every SINGLE thing!

  18. i'm so sorry pregnancy is no fun for you :(
    i suspect i may not enjoy it either, but what a sweet treat you get at the end!!!

    you are cute, and i love you. can't wait to see that BABY! :)

  19. Love this blog post! Coming off from last night where I laid in the tub crying telling my husband I didn't have it in me to last another 6 weeks :) I am one of those women that the minute I am not pregnant my mind is brain washed and I remember loving it! So I have been telling people if I tell you I miss being pregnant or loved it remind me that I DO NOT! This has been the hardest pregnancy by far. We can do it but I have to tell myself every day just to take it one more day at a time! I can't tell you how many things have gone by the wayside or I have been too sick or overwhelmed to take care of! I am much more happy even in the newborn, sleep deprived state than the pregnancy state! Good luck!

  20. Oh sister, I am right there with you. You are almost there-- and I'm sure you're sick of hearing that. Can't wait to meet that little one soon!

  21. I went through infertility and could never get pregnant. Would have loved to have been sick every day just to have a baby.
    I guess we are never happy with the life we have been given.

  22. I love the honesty in this post. I am 25 weeks with #3, and I too am DONE after this one. I keep telling my husband that the day she is born we are scheduling his appointment. I love my kids more than anything, but man it's hard times for some of us. Why is it that some people never have to experience the rough part of pregnancy....or gain 50lbs.:)? It just doesn't seem fair. I would take the sickness and disgustingness all day everyday for that end result though, I know you would too. Sounds like you have:).

    I too experience the fear. I am frantic when I don't feel her move for a time and my mind goes to the worst places. I've really struggled with that this go round, because of our own loss and a stillborn for my sister last year. May the God of Peace wash of you these last few weeks. Soon you will hold your sweet baby!

  23. I too love your honesty! I had a rougher pregnancy with my third child vs. the first two. So, I do know where you are coming from. I wish...looking back I would have let what people said to me roll off more. I put myself through a lot of agony and I look back and think if I would have only trusted the Lord more that things would have been much better for me. Thank goodness for awesome husbands!!

  24. OMG! you're telling my pregnacies stories, this last one (3rd girl BTW) was the worse, I thought my husband would not come back to the house one day, I was a witch! Thank God is over now and I have the most adorable three month baby girl I could dream of.

    You go girl, It's almost over!!

  25. OMG! you're telling my pregnacies stories, this last one (3rd girl BTW) was the worse, I thought my husband would not come back to the house one day, I was a witch! Thank God is over now and I have the most adorable three month baby girl I could dream of.

    You go girl, It's almost over!!

  26. Mel, I didn't like being pregnant either. And I still pee when I sneeze, barf or jump. thanks for being real!

  27. Love this post!!! Glad I'm not the only one that didn't relish every pregnant moment! I loved feeling him move and not having to suck in my belly in a bathing suit (ha!), but other than that, I was pretty miserable. Sick, heartburn, in pain, and could.not.breathe. Seriously, I would wake up in the night gasping for air and praying he would come a week or two early so I could breathe. He came a week early! :)
    Hang in there! Look at newborn pics of your girls lots to remind yourself that soon you will get to hold your new little one! :)

  28. My friend had the same issue. When she had her daughter instead of gaining weight she was 6lbs less than her pre pregnancy weight. She was hospitalized and had a port put in for nutrients. Her sweet daughter was born healthy but after that experience she decided once was enough.

    I don't like being pregnant either. It seems once the stick turned positive I got sick with my son things didn't turn out so nicely so when I became pregnant again I strongly disliked being so scared about what might happen and in one month I was in the ER five times.

    I personally can't wait for Larson #3 and I love that he or she is a surprise gender that's so much fun!

  29. Great honest post. I too am pregnant with #3 and have icky morning sickness a majority of the time. But my first two I was only pregnant for 7 months so i didn't endure those last tough weeks.
    The trials during pregnancy and labor really make me think back to the Garden of Eden. How would it ( pregnancy/ labor) have been had sin not entered the world? Man was told he was going to have a hard time working the land and woman was told she'd suffer in child bearing. So I guess I look at my pregnancy and labor as a reminder of my sin and praise God for extending his grace to us through Christ.
    Oh but I'm still a whinny pants :)
    Glad you are nearing the end, enjoy your summer!

  30. i love you. i wish i could have read this post 14 years ago, and again 13 years ago, and again 10 years ago. like you the porcelain throne was my bff through all of my pregnancies.
    everything was neglected as i tried not to barf (and pee... seriously right!?!). BUT GOD... he was growing our family into what he wanted it to be because of it all. i see that now. he is doing that in your family, too.

    and i do have a theory... "the sicker you are the cuter the kids!"
    after all, we worked harder on them.
    i feel sorry for all those "i loved being pregnant" moms cause they have ugly children. :-)

    yeah for 6 weeks left! you look great.

  31. I am late commenting on this but I totally agree about pregnancy. And dont hate me when I say this, but I hate pregnancy and I have never even thrown up while pregnant. I have pretty mild symptoms compared to many but I just miss not having to think about everything I eat or do.

    I am on my third (AND LAST!) pregnancy and I SO hear you on the IPAD. It has been a savior for my three year old. My (now mobile) nine month old could care less. Luckily when I was in my first trimester, she wasnt mobile. I would lay in the floor with her while she played and fall asleep.

    I am trying to be more positive since I know this is my last pregnancy (I am 16 weeks) but I am still ready to never be without wine again!



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