1.19.2016

Momfessional Moments + A Winner

Today I linking up with Andrea posting my "Momfessionals"
My Confessions as a Mom. 

This is going to be fun!

But, first....the Winner of the FitBit Giveaway is:
VALERIE
Leave a comment or send me an email letting me know if you want the FitBit Flex or Fitbit Charge!
Congrats!

{ONE}
I throw away 99% of my kids school work & Sunday school things.
I don't like the clutter/mess that it makes.
For their important school work & special Sunday school things, they each have a bin under their beds, but everything else goes in the trash. 
They aren't happy when things go in the trash.
I have gotten caught by them SOOOO many times.
The first time I got caught throwing something out was when Kate was about 3 or 4 years old.
I threw out her baby Jesus craft that she made at Sunday School.
She went to throw away a napkin and saw the Baby Jesus in the trash.
She screamed at the top of her lungs
"WHO THREW AWAY BABY JESUS?!?!?" 
Not my finest parenting moment.
But has that stopped me from throwing away their things?
NO.
I get caught all the time, but not recently.
I have just gotten smarter about it and either bury it in the trash or take it to the outside trash bin.


{TWO}
During the summer my kids get a bath maybe 1 a week....or every 10 days.
I know...SO BAD.
But, here's the thing.
The past 3 years California has been in a MAJOR drought.
Last summer we were all placed on water restrictions.
We have a pool and my girls are on swim team, so they were swimming practically every day in the summer. The chlorine kills germs & cleans them, right?!?!?
One day last summer, I realized my kids hadn't had a bath in almost TWO WEEKS.
#MOMFAIL
But, I will let you know that when I got our water bill last August, we had used 46% less since
the year before.
I'm just trying to do my part for the drought.
Swimming totally counts as a bath...rights?!?! ;)

{THREE}
I like to play jokes on my kids.
I want them to have a sense of humor.
Remember how Jimmy Kimmel does that prank after Halloween when parents tell their kids they threw away all their Halloween candy? Yeah....I did that 2 years ago....I have it on video.....my kids were NOT happy. I thought it was hysterical.

{FOUR}
I bribe my kids when we go to Target. With a slushy or popcorn.
Shopping with 3 young kids is a disaster.
Luke, at 3 years old is a hard age to shop with. 
Sometimes I will let him play with a toy in the shopping cart & then when we get to the cashier, I have the girls distract him and then I give the toy to the cashier & tell them we don't want it.
Sometimes he notices, sometimes he doesn't.
If he does notice then at least his meltdown is only for a few minutes while we are paying & leaving Target...it could be worse, he could be having a meltdown the entire time we are at Target.

{FIVE}
Kevin and I are not morning people.
When Kate was 5 and Claire was 4, we started telling them on Saturday mornings, they had to stay in their rooms until 7 am and not wake us up before 8am.  So, on Friday nights, we would pour them each a bowl of dry cereal & I would put it on the kitchen table. In the fridge, I would pour 2 cups of milk, so that in the morning, if they were hungry for breakfast, they could go downstairs, get the milk & pour it into their cereal bowl. We would also have the TV set to Disney Jr, so they could turn the TV on in the morning & watch a show while we got an extra hour of sleep. We started doing this right when Luke was born and we were exhausted from being up during the night with him. Just call us Parents of the Year. HAHAHA!
This has worked out well because now at the ages of 7 & almost 9, they are totally self sufficnet in the morning and know how to get themselves breakfast, etc.
Win-Win :)

{SIX}
Our favorite family Wii game is Super Mario Brothers. Kevin & I play it with the girls all the time. If you have ever played it, you know it can be hard to play with 4 people....so when the girls are in bed, Kevin and I will play just the 2 of us so that we can get past certain levels without the girls interfering. Kevin and I have been known to play Super Mario Brothers for HOURS after our kids go to bed. Fighting Bowser in the Castle is so much easier just the 2 of us. HA!
Like I said...we are Parents of the Year.

{SEVEN}
I despise crafts that use Glitter. 
Playdough? FORGET about it. 
Ain't nobody got time for that. 
I used to let them play with those things outside when they were younger, but I just don't buy them anymore. Too much mess. I can't handle it.

{EIGHT}
Every Christmas season the girls make Gingerbread houses & Luke makes a Gingerbread train.
It is usually the first part of December & we have them displayed on our Kitchen counter.
This year, all 3 kids kept picking at their houses/train and eating the candy off it.
All the frosting was flaking off and making a mess.
So, after a week or so, I just threw them away....I was tired of telling them to stop eating the candy off them & getting sticky frosting hands everywhere.
When they asked where they went, I lied to them and said that ants got to them so I had to throw them away.

Wow....I don't know if I feel better or worse after all these confessions. Ha!
All I know is that I'm just a mom doing the best I can with my kids and sometimes that includes bribery and lying to them. Am I right?!?!

If you want to see more of my "Momfessionals" you can read this post that I wrote a couple years ago called "I was the BEST MOM EVER. Then I had kids"
 I listed things that I said I would NEVER do when I had kids...and I broke so many of those rules.
Read it HERE and I bet you will feel MUCH better about yourself :)

I've been a mom now for almost 9 years (on Saturday!!!!) and what I have learned is that you gotta do what you gotta do. Each family is different & we are all just doing the best we can. 

Can't wait to read your Momfessionals!

42 comments:

  1. These are HILARIOUS! I am so with you on the paper work... one time my four year old caught me throwing away her school work and told me: "Ms Ashlee is not going to be very happy with you!" Well, too bad, because I am not keeping all of this crap, I mean, art. :)

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    Replies
    1. That is so funny that she said her teacher wasn't going to be happy with you...classic!!

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  2. I completely agree with #5. Hands down. I learned it from my mom who used to pack my Saturday morning breakfast in a lunchbox and leave it for me in the fridge the night before!

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    1. This a great idea. I am going to this on saterday and sunday mornings while I drink my coffee... Great idea thanks for sharing.

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  3. These are the BEST! And glitter. Cannot.handle.at.all.

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  4. Too funny.
    I am the same when it comes to artwork (and my oldest is only 3). Have you ever heard of the app Artkive? It lets you take pictures of your kids artwork and save them in an app on your phone. This makes me feel less guilty for trashing everything.

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  5. Funny so many of us have the artwork confession...I wrote about that too and read several others. I seriously cracked up over the ants. I feel like we are so sarcastic with our kids that they are really going to piss someone off one day.

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  6. Oh my gosh! I love all of these and they make me feel so much more normal! Glitter.. Never. That's why mommy pays for preschool, honey!

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  7. We play Mario Kart after our kids go to bed!! And the breakfast/Disney Jr thing on Saturday is seriously BRILLIANT. Kid's need to learn to be self sufficient and parents (especially parents of newborns!) need some sleep!

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    1. You MUST try the Saturday morning trick this weekend!!! Let me know how it goes!!

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  8. This is hysterical!! I throw everything away too and get busted all the time!!

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  9. This is the best momfessionals post I've ever read! I was dying. I don't have kids yet but I feel like I will do all of these things. Plus that cereal trick is genius. I might just take that as advice for the future! Ha!

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  10. Alright, I am storing the Saturday morning one in my brain for when my kiddos are older. Genius.

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  11. Number seven was TOTALLY on my list, too! Playdoh and stickers are killing my house right now. Cannot handle the messy floors and ruined furniture. :(

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  12. I am laughing so hard at some of these! Poor baby Jesus! And the ants got to it, haha! Love it!

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    1. Yeah....the ants lie was not one of my finest moments. Ooops.

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  13. LOVE this!!! Also, you might be the smartest mom ever on the breakfast thing and letting yourselves sleep in! Totally trying that!

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  14. Replies
    1. I know! I love reading everyone's Momfessionals. So funny!

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  15. I laughed right out loud at throwing away Baby Jesus!! Hahaha! My little has also been traumatized by seeing his works of art in the trash too!! And brilliant idea on the breakfast! I will have to adopt that into our routine!! And swimming totally counts as a bath!

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  16. I think of all of these Momfessional Moments posts I've read, yours is my absolute favorite! It's so refreshing to hear you say that sometimes you forget to give your kids baths for a week. And bravo for the breakfast idea! I'm definitely going to be using this one when our kids get a little older!

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  17. We had a pool in our backyard growing up in Chicago and we never took showers or baths and there wasn't a drought. My parents were just never really around so we never took showers, I mean we were in the pool all the time. Don't feel bad.

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    1. Glad to know you turned out just fine without showering regularly as a kid :)

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  18. Hahaha! Definitely guilty of some of those as well! We love playing family games, but sometimes you just want to play a game at a normal pace #amiright Just don't forget to turn the TV source back to TV and not the XBOX where we were playing trivia. BUSTED!

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    1. We have been busted before also...we woke up the one of the girls because we were cheering so loud after beating a level. LOL!!!

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